Where did you get a picture of my penis
So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
The guy who's car I hit last night just followed me on Twitter...not sure how to feel about it.
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
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