i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
I cut my penus on the lid.
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Randomize
