wakey wakey hands off snakey
Did you call me this morning? I was really drugged up and don't remember.
Have a good day. My vagina shrank.
I'm done trying to be a vegetarian. My vagina smells like hummus.
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
My high school reunion is Thursday so I need to find an outfit that says "Haha, you got fat and I got tits. Suck it, bitches."
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
Randomize
