I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
Thank you for deleting me from Instagram. Also, I'm carrying your child. Happy new year!
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
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