If that was your dad, he is hot
i feel like the song jizz in my pants was made for him.
Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
Just paid my credit card bill at the bar. This phone makes it so I never have to leave
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
To celebrate the holidays this evening, I will be replying “FUCK YOU” to all my spam emails. Can’t tell you how excited I am
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