you know what scares the shit out of me? i have eaten bagel bites since i was a little kid and just in the past five years they started puting "made with real cheese" WHAT THE FUCK WERE THEY USING BEFORE? i mean ive been a bagel biter since the womb
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
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