Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
I don't need my coworkers thinking I'm a nutcase.
You gift wrapped a tampon.
My mom just drunk texted me complaining about her genitals smelling like Taco Bell. I really am her son
It's rum buckets o'clock
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Randomize
