I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
Sext me about skeletons
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
Randomize
