whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
Ugh I realized he only responds to my snaps when I’m eating a popsicle
Why are male brains so small?
TSA found the edibles
Fuck
Oh my god he just. Swiped them for explosives and handed them back to me
God bless California
Randomize
