I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
You need a sexual gate keeper
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
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