5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
Randomize
