Hows this for an invention: a toilet that weighs your poop
It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
Randomize
