I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
i woke up to something itchy on my head. it was his mustache. he fell asleep face-plant style on the side of my head. WTF?
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
Thank you for deleting me from Instagram. Also, I'm carrying your child. Happy new year!
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
Then you guys just all showered together...?
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
Randomize
