names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
This is not a drill. I need a cape. And a tuxedo. Simultaneously. Repeat. NOT. A. DRILL....
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
I learned three things this morning. Don't get out of my car without my keys, don't let a girl paint my nail unless I'm getting laid by said girl, and lastly I learned how to break into my own car.
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
Randomize
