I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
I just sharted for the first time in my life. Age 33. Lying in bed. Sober. 2021 is off to a great start!
Randomize
