Question. A woman tells her guy she's on birth control. Stops taking it to have a kid to force the guy to be responsible and with her. What rights does that guy have
None he's f-d
this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
She told me I should be a condom model.
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
There is a drunk marine passed out on my porch. Mandy wouldn't sleep with him, Can you please come remove him?
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
He just canceled. I got an amazing new dress and now he’s decided he’s spending the weekend with his family
In other news, there’s some rando in an expensive hotel bar who is going to get very lucky tonight because I love the way this dress makes my tits look. Want to help me find him?
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