Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
Found your dick twin last night
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
I feel like I got hit by a truck. And I vaguely remember getting into an argument with a passive aggressive Ron Burgundy in a onesie- grown man, not a baby- about the pronunciation of New Orleans
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
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