I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
all he gave me for my birthday was sperm
at least its a homemade gift
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
