I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
I'm sorry, I'm tired, I can't play long distance cockblock anymore. Good night don't get too pregnant.
Twas still the Saturday before Christmas \nAnd it’s still fucking snowing\nAnd Steve wished he slowed down \nOn all the fucking drinking
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
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