I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
Randomize
