i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
Randomize
