I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
Do you how many people I've successfully loaded into a Mazda Miata? Six. Six people. How? Strategically.
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
He goes "hi, free today?" WHEN AM I EVER FREE ON A SATURDAY, I GOT HUNGOVER TO BE AND DRUNK TO GET.
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
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