She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
i just yelled "run, its godzirra!" to an asian kid who looked confused by the tornado alarm test
its 4am and she invited me over to split a 'romantic bowl of frosted flakes'...really dude?...what do you think she's trying to say?...she better not be kidding about the frosted flakes though.
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
I woke up five hours later with a mouthful of Jimmy John's while clinging to my sandwich.
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
Randomize
