ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
I'm tuning in to watch Heidi Montag crash and burn on the Miss Universe Pageant. Somebody call 911. and I'm not talking about the Sean Kingston song.
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
You are the only one who would stop a bum, tell him to open up, then pour straight vodka in his mouth. You made his year.
Best elective surgery ever. Having a great time ignoring girls' pleas to pull out and blowing it inside anyway. I like to watch them absolutely freak out and go batshit crazy for 20 mins before I mention the snip-snip surgery. Power trip.
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
Did you put pizza in my boxers last night?
I left you 4 hours ago. Have you been walking around with shit in your pants all day?
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
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