shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
Do you remember me asking for jerk off videos from Tinder guy?
Nah I don't remember that being part of the criteria
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
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