We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
He called me skinny, I broke his garbage disposal, then denied him sex. Normal second date etiquette.
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
Good news: you're over the drunk crying life phase. Bad news: now you're handy and violent. You were groping me from behind in front of the guy you like, then you put me in a headlock and swept the leg.
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
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