if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard.
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
A particularly funny moment you may have missed; you walked in to the basement to announce that whoever was cooking sausages had left them on the grill for Hella long, only to be told that you were in fact the person grilling. At which point you just said, "the sausages are done" and walked out
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
Shut up. The only friend I need in life is Jim Beam because life is meaningless.
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
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