how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
Randomize
