plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
And despite my lack of successful relationships I'm a fucking guru
That's like claiming you're a good coach but going 2-12 last season
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