We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
Wait what do you mean I BOUGHT A FUCKING HORSE LAST NIGHT?!?!
Randomize
