lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
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