the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
I knocked on some strangers door, you didn't have to give me a fake hotel room number
Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
Sign #1 that I'm not ready to be a mother: I'm shopping for "maternity fishnets".
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
Randomize
