i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
Randomize
