WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
So I went into my gym pretty wasted and asked the trainer guy if i could order a cock meat sandwich. Needless to say, I'm canceling my membership tomorrow.
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
Randomize
