oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
I just told a kid I was in a wheelchair because Santa shot me due to me being on the naughty list. You should have seen this little bastards face
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
I told the cop I was late for a booty call. He still gave me a ticket but he wrote his number on it
Randomize
