i just got arrested. apparently dont move means dont move.
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
I never thought I'd have to apologize for tasting like absinthe and cheetos before tonight
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
I'm legitimately the first person in the United States to successfully shave their balls with a Razer Blade of a sword and fully admitt it. I'm honestly smoother then a 10 year old.
Randomize
