Non-Jews are for practice
i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
and i looked up. we had an audience...
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
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