i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
There's a mirror laying face down next to me. A looooong full body mirror. By the looks of it it fell off the wall last night and was within centimeters of shattering on my head. Awesome.
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
He started to lose his balance halfway through his "commencement speech" at the top of the staircase. The rest is bloody, profanity-laiden history.
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
Randomize
