Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
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