My hair reeks of homosexuality.
My life is like a Sweet Valley High book but with lots of alcohol.
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
Can someone please remind me later tonight that there's a taco in my purse. I may get drunk and forget I put it there
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
Randomize
