remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
my fart just smelled so bad i acutally gagged
just because you are now my girlfriend does not mean you can text me nasty shit
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
I am 48% hangover, 48% bruises and 2% fingers I'm texting with.
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
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