I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
omg how embarrassing to not hear the delivery person knocking because you're singing "where are you Pizza" to the tune of "where are you christmas" too loudly
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
Randomize
