My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
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