You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
It's 5am and I have yet to fall asleep. At what point do we just accept that I run on vodka?
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
True life: I inadvertently fucked a whole friend group. More details to come tonight.
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
Randomize
