My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
I don't need this shit right now. I just woke up covered in pistachios
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
Randomize
