he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
YOU SUCK AT REPLYING IM IRRESPOSNIBLY DRUNK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOU LIFE. celebrate the magicness with me.
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
Randomize
