It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
For future reference, when he drunkenly screams "YOUR MOTHER SUCKS COCKS IN HELL," he means that he's about to throw up. Invest in a bucket.
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
Randomize
