it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
my dad wants uyo to call him right now...reverse drunk dialing
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
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