so i was sitting on this guys lap, and we were flirting and everything right..well his phone kept ringing, turns out it was his pregnant wife...she had gone into labor..
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
Randomize
