...there is blood under my fingernails.
...I hope my roomates are okay.
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
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