no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
Walk of Shame today included voting.
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
okay, but you can't tell anyone. Every time he instagrams something with the caption "avocado," it means he's booty calling me. Happy?
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
It's the Ides of March, motherfucker. That means we're supposed to daydrink, right?
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
Randomize
