everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
hey my socially awkward cousin is our designated driver for summer, we just have to put up with her wierd shit.
turns out Discover card thinks that if you spend $450 at four different liquor stores in one evening that the card "must have been stolen"
Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
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