her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
I couldn't find a water bottle, so I sent her to school with her juice in a flask. Who the hell let me become a parent?
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
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