I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
It was just pointed out to me in a meeting that there is a lipstick stain on my crotch.
We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
Seriously, I look like I crawled out of a bog. Succeeding at being as undateable as possible.
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
When we found you, you were half crying/half singing Taylor swift songs at 2am in the bathroom, and occasionally puking. I think I get "friend of the year" award just for putting up with your drunk ass all night.
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
Randomize
