Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
why did i make a hit list last night containing only McDonalds?
you tried to order a magarita mcflurry and when they said they didnt make those you tried to call 911
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
This is the only time in your life where finding a half eaten lime and pair of florescent pink underwear that wasn't yours means that it was a good night
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
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