Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
Dude I think you forgot how to talk last night. We kept asking if you wanted a condom and you just smiled and made weird noises...
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
I went 670% over budget on my vacation. My accountant would flip if he weren't me.
How the fuck do you have so much free time?
Polyphasic sleep schedule.
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
Randomize
