Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
I lost my phone so I put sticky notes all over my roommates body asking her to wake me up at 7:00 AM.
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
There should be a guide book that probation officers hand out on "how to tell a tinder girl about your ankle monitor before she notices it at the worst possible moment"
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
Randomize
