I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
Nothing says Merry Christmas like gifting a bottle of rum and finishing it yourself then leaning over at the dinner table to puke it back up.
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
Somehow his homemade liquor activated memories of my semester abroad three years ago. I ended up yelling random medical advice in German, while my roommates played dress-up with the cat stoned out of their minds. I consequently gave up on dating. Back in the ONS game.
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
Randomize
