yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
I wanna come do a blessing for your apartment. And by that I mean I want to drink a lot of whiskey and watch ancient aliens in your apartment
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
Randomize
