I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
I won't apologize to a one balled man
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
He's finally divorcing her, so naturally he tells me that we're not exclusive anymore. His penis 'wants what it wants' apparently.
Randomize
